Our Baby

I have been trying to hold off announcing, but it is getting harder to hide.  We found out a few weeks ago that we would be expecting our 3rd child.  We have been excited but it was still early and I wanted to wait for my first appointment before telling too many people.  We went for our first appointment this last Monday January 5th.  When we started the sonogram, I was so emotional and excited.  We started asking questions but the sonogram technician remained quiet.  At one point one of us said "Is everything ok?"  She replied "The doctor will have to discuss this with you."  Both of us, but mostly Chris, knew something was wrong.  I tried to be optimistic for the next 24 hours before I met with the doctor, but that was hard.  I met with the doctor the next day and our biggest fear was confirmed.  She told me the sonogram technician saw a mild thickening on the back of the baby's neck which could indicate a number of chromosomal abnormalities.  I did a blood test in the office that day, which I will get the results for in 2 weeks.  The next day I went to see a specialist for high risk pregnancies.  She had even worse news for us.  The thickening was larger than the original sonogram technician realized.  She gave us very little hope.  Our baby has some sort of birth defect which could be a number of abnormalities.  She said things like "might not make it to delivery," "could only live two days," and "less than 20% chance of being normal."  She does not look for this situation to correct itself.  We have been through a variety of emotions the last 48 hours.  We are scared, mad, confused, hopeful, sad, and positive.  It just depends on the hour.  I am 11 weeks right now and all I can do it wait.  I have to wait for test results, wait to do more tests, and wait to see if the pregnancy continues.  This has been the absolute worst week of my life.  Chris and I are trying to remain strong and positive.  Right now, I need love and support.  I am struggling to remain hopeful.  I am sharing this news because we will need your support, love, and prayers.  I will share more when I am able.  I just ask that you respect our privacy at this difficult time.